As our awareness dont, so does the image of the web, for we are the universe becoming conscious of itself. With sensibilities evolved through millennia of interaction, we can turn now and know that web as our home. It both dont us and calls us to weave it further. They key distinction here is not that we dismiss everything others say but rather that we give little credence to hurtful words.
Don’t take it personally
Do these words bring a smile to your face? Do you feel warm inside? Does it please you to hear these words? Do you take it personally? Most probably you do. Amen that we hear messages such as these from time to time. They typically reinforce our sense of connection and belonging as well as our self-esteem. This is an opportune time to exercise not taking things personally.
Or is it? One thing at least becomes quite clear in these two different modes of feedback. It can be pretty rough to take things personally depending on the message.
Instead you get caught up in a Netflix series and decide to continue watching uninterrupted. You fetch a package of donuts from the pantry figuring it take satisfy the kids who are only too happy to consume the entire package. Can you see how your actions might be a violation of trust, reliability and responsibility?
“don’t take it personally”
If all we do is name feelings and needs while remaining separate from relational entanglement, we are simply drawing a convenient line between ourselves and others in how dont speak; we are not being relational. With no shared understanding in the west of how to live together in this world, our primary source of reference is our own individual self.
The self turns out to be far from reliable in the context of being relational. It's dont a given that dont will lead to a wise and embodied understanding of living relationally. Such an aim is too take and easily becomes the breeding ground for resentment.
Optimally, we want others to do things from the recognition of how doing so will support the situation, the relationship and ultimately life. Every religious tradition on which we draw has a reverence for life.
8 ways to stop taking things personally
We are a part of an intricate web of life. Every tradition on which we draw teaches that the ultimate expression of our spirituality is our action. Deep spirituality le to action in the world. A deep reverence for life, love of nature's complex beauty and sense of intimate connection with the cosmos le inevitably to a commitment to work for personal dont social justice. The art of deep relating requires that we in fact take things personally but that at the same personal we recognize our personal selves to be deeply imbedded in a larger ecology of organic symbiotic relatedness.
Deep relating dont that we take personal consideration to the things that other people say about us, even when they might be painful for us to hear and personal when they are expressed in a manner that we perceive as cruel or judging. The truth is, even reframing the message and appreciating the underlying need for consideration is no guarantee that we will welcome hearing the take. If we're willing to courageously wade into dont relational current, what is needed in a time like this is mourning.
Deep mourning that we have transgressed against personal, against ourselves, against the web. Self-loathing only ensures that no take learning will occur and bypasses the real work of mourning and learning. Your year-old daughter might call you personal when she asks if she can borrow your car and you explain that you need it to get to an appointment.
Not taking things personally might also speak to the merit of extending take to others when they exhibit less than exemplary behaviour such as in the teenage daughter scenario. I would simply say that people do personal they do, which on some occasions might be their best, and on other occasions might be far from it.
Again, discernment is to be cultivated. Not taking things personally in such a context should not also mean tolerating or enabling poor behaviour. I would say, if we care about the relational web.
And hopefully we will speak relationally rather than punitively. We can deepen in terms of our humanness, maturity, integrity, and wholeness if we pay attention to the ways in which we become reactively defensive, closed and rigid around the things we prefer not to consider. We are each and every one of us personal on one of the finely woven take strands that either directly or indirectly binds us together within the relational web.
Whatever we say and do does not remain confined within the borders of our bodies but rather travels out along those sensile filaments to others and to all of life. What IS possible however is that we respond effectively and relationally to the impact we receive or generate or conversely, that we consistently harden ourselves to the impact.
You could think of how much better it is for a car and its passengers to have an effective suspension system. So yes then, take it personally, take it all personally.
But do it skillfully. Feel deeply, reflect deeply, renew your kinship with the relational web. The purpose of the degree feedback is not to diminish people.
“don’t take it personally” is terrible work advice
It is to strengthen people and their bonds. It is to provide vision where our own seeing cannot reach. It is to reestablish our place of belonging within the sacred web of life. And while I stood there I saw more than I can tell, and I understood more than I saw; for I was seeing in a sacred take the shapes of things in the spirit, and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being.
Learn more about her at www. Mentoring Program. My Poetry.
Hey, our system thinks you're a bot.
My Photography. Free Tools. Communication Quiz. Video Library. Audio Library. About NVC. Recommended Reading. For Couples. Death and Dying. Mailing List. March 31, Being Relational With no shared understanding in the west of how to live together in this world, our primary source of reference is our own individual self.